Back in the Saddle

Word.

120 Minutes*

6:00 AM – Awake with a sneer when Alarm #1 goes off; fumble for snooze alarm
6:10 AM – Snooze
6:20 AM – Snooze
6:30 AM – Swear, debate blowing off gym, remind self that today will be the last self-weigh in for a while and drag butt out of bed
6:40 AM – Swear, grab keys, water bottle and magazine
6:41 AM – Stumble out the door and stagger to the gym
6:57 AM – Blink confusedly at elliptical machine; try to figure out why the Gold's braintrust has removed the water bottle and iPod holders from the ellipticals.  [I almost typed "Walkman holders" but figured no one would know what I was talking about]
7:00 AM – Tune the tv to TLC to veg out to Clean Sweep while sweating profusely
7:00 – 7:32 AM – Sweat profusely.   Wonder if trembling in fear of Peter Walsh coming to my house burn extra calories?  Hmmm…
7:34 AM – Stumble out the door and stagger home
7:50 AM – Enter my luxurious bathroom, stick tongue out at the scale, and shower, because, well, I'm stinky
8:00 AM – Squeaky clean!  Hop out of shower, see scale out of the corner of my eye.  "The Imperial March"** starts to run through my head
8:01 AM – Lie to myself, saying it's okay if I didn't lose any weight, as long as I didn't gain any either
8:02 AM – Slide scale into "official weighing corner" of the tile floor and resignedly step on
8:02:10 AM – Swear.  Step off.  Let it reset (fun with digiscales).  Step back on
8:02:20 AM – Swear profusely.  Step off.  Slide it off "official weighing corner".  Slide it back onto "official weight corner".  Step back on.
8:02:30 AM – Grumble

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!?!
-12
Seriously.

* As in two hours; not nifty MTV alternative music video show from days gone by
** AKA Darth Vader's theme music.  I had to Google it; I'm not quite that dorky.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Feeling v. Knowing

I've been dragging my heels about posting this week.  A lot of it had to do with being disappointed about my three-pound weight gain last week, not to mention not having anything to show for my knitting time.  Whereas I think there's a time and a place for a good whiny blog post from time to time, I knew that any post I wrote was going to be crabby so I just put it off until I could disguise it with race updates and actual knitting that wasn't seconds away from being frogged.

Yes, the 2nd Boyfriend sock looks almost exactly the same as the last time I photographed it, but I swear, I've knit at least TWO more rows!  I know, it boggles the mind.  Someone call the world record folks; I could be onto something!

Oh, delivery from Just My Size – w'hoo!  Workout clothes!  Meh.

Intellectually, I know that last week's weight gain, while disappointing isn't the end of the world.  Nor is it particularly indicative of my progress.  I'm sure the steak and burger I had while I was in Columbus weren't the best of decisions, and perhaps reflected a little poorly on the scale.  Then there's the change in medication which may or may not be having an impact.  Even with all of those things, I know that overall I'm eating healthier and taking better care of myself by exercising almost every day.

However,  what I feel tends to be  more along the lines of disappointment, disgust, discouragement – all those good dis-es. 

• "I'm only three weeks in and I'm already gaining back weight?  That doesn't bode well for the future!  Why bother?"
•  "I completely fell apart when I went to Columbus for the weekend. What's going to happen during the minimum of seven weekends that I'm away over the summer?  Especially the streak where I'm gone for four weekends within a month and a half?"
• Okay, I can't think of a third bullet, but still…!

So now it's been six days and I'm 'scheduled' to hop on the scale again tomorrow morning.  I'm debating skipping all future weigh ins until my next dietitian appointment.  I'm definitely one of those people who shouldn't (and doesn't) get on the scale every day, but I'm wondering if weekly even isn't making me too neurotic.  I can't really work much harder than I already am (ok, I could've skipped the link and a half of sausage at brunch) and if it's just going to disappoint and depress me, should I just dodge it all together?

In other blurry photo news, I've finally managed to cast on the correct number of stitches for Camellia and am into the waist shaping.  It's terribly unexciting stockinette right now, but it's progressing.  We won't discuss the 4 days of casting on, frogging, casting on, cursing, frogging, etc.  It's in the past.

Speaking of blurry photos, I was initially supposed to start my county-offered Intro to Digital Photography class this evening, but they pushed the start time back two weeks.  I'm never happy with any of my photographs and I finally decided that, rather continuing to spend money on better equipment (and having the same crummy results), maybe I should go have someone tell me what I'm doing wrong. 

This is already far too long.  You can skip tomorrow's post – that's where I'll be updating Chimmie's 2009 progress.

Childhood Nostalgia

I spent last weekend in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio, checking in on my dad whom I haven't seen since December.   He's doing about as well as can be expected but it's obvious that he's lonely and extremely out of sorts.  I wish I had the slightest idea what to do for him.  The only thing I can think of for right now is to call and visit more often, although the latter will become more difficult as time goes by.

I did my best to stick with the diet/exercise plan, but there were some noticeable hiccups.  I was helpless when confronted with Cracker Barrel's hash brown casserole – I didn't even order it; they just brought extra!  I allowed myself to eat half of it, though that was probably a quarter more than I should've ingested.  I'll know how much damage was done when I weigh-in tomorrow.

I went for a couple of walks around the 'hood, since Columbus can't be bothered to have a Gold's Gym.  The scenery was breathtaking.

Ye olde brewery

Yes, I grew up less than a mile from the Anheuser-Busch brewery in Columbus.  When I was younger, I used to hop on my royal blue Omni-10 ten-speed and pedal up the street to see the Clydesdales when they toured or go on the tour, which ends in the tasting room.  Of course, the tasting room is far different now than it was then (or so I assume – I haven't been back since I turned 21 many moons ago).   Back in the day, they would pour the kiddies some Route 66 root beer.  I think this was a product that was only test marketed in cities with breweries, although I could be wrong.  I know there are two different Route 66/Root 66 products out there, but I don't think either of them is the same as I remember. 

Does anyone remember Eagle Snacks?  Those little pretzels in the shape of the Anheuser-Busch eagle logo?  They used to have little bowls of them sitting on the bar in the tasting room, you know, so you wouldn't get too drunk on your 4 oz of beer.  Hmm, maybe I need to go on another tour, just to check things out.

And if that weren't an enticing enough view…

Oooh, water tanks!

At least it was a pretty morning.

I did get a chance to meetup with my friend Jen while I was home (hi Jen!!!).  We went to Max & Erma's, which most folks have never heard of, but it's oooh so tasty.   I had to get a burger but at least I resisted the french fries.

In knitting news, I accomplished absolutely nothing except confirming that I need to frog my pink thing and go down a needle size.  As usual.  Why oh why am I so loose!?!?!?

All my bags are packed…

HA!  Yeah, right.

I'm dashing off to Columbus this evening for a quick weekend with Papa Knascar.  I haven't been home since December so I think it'll be good for both of us to check in.  I'm a little worried about managing my dietary issues over the course of the next couple of days.  I tend to fall apart a little when I'm not in absolute control of my food.  Maybe tomorrow morning's exercise should be a round-trip mosey to the nearby grocery store.

This week featured more appointments with an endocrinologist and my dietitian.  I did manage to meet (well, exceed if you want to be technical about it) the weight-loss goal that my dietitian set out for me.  Having been down this road before, I'm glad that I managed to pull it off, but not particularly giddy.   When you've lost and gained and gained and lost as often as I have, it's hard to be particularly excited about the initial drop.  Been there, gained that back.  Of course, if I hadn't met goal, I'd've been devastated, but that's neither here nor there.  You don't expect my body issues to be logical, do you?  Next weigh-in is in a month.  You mean I have to do this all over again?!?

Oh, did I mention the jacked-up thyroid I appear to have as well?  Frankly, my entire endocrine system can just suck it, y'all.

While I'll be in Ohio for less than 48 hours, I am taking more than one project.  I should probably just take my second boyfriend sock and crank it out, but that makes too much sense.  I recently dug out my yarn and pattern for Camelia.

Yeah, I have no idea where I am in the pattern.  I'll probably rip out that four rows and cast back on while I'm chillin' at the airport.  I thought about taking Hourglass, but after our field trip to the frog pond earlier this week, we're just not seeing eye to eye.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!  The flurries in the mid-Atlantic aren't supposed to last, and even if they did – perfect knitting weather!

Keep on keepin’ on

Had a bit of an unscheduled three-day weekend last week.   After feeling like death all night Thursday, I called off sick Friday and let my system recover.  I did FINALLY get the heel turned on my second Boyfriend sock.  I don't know why I have such a mental block about turning heels, but I do.

I have two doctors appointments this week which will require some travel and waiting room time, so I should be able to knock out a few more repeats before this weekend. 

After relaxing and getting back to "normal" on Friday, I decided to head to Alexandria for their annual St. Patrick's Day parade on Saturday morning.  Of course, first H & I dutifully headed to Murphy's to help hold seats for folks who would be along a little later.  My afternoon was spent between the bar and the parade (which, truthfully, was right outside the door), but it was an excuse to be outside and enjoy the weather.

 

 

 

The rest of my weekend consisted of much to write home (or blog!) about, but I wish I could make it sound more exciting for your sake.  A little knitting, a LOT of frogging (bye-bye Hourglass!) and the requisite amount of gym attendance.  Yes, it's true.  Ever since the dietitian laid down the law, I've been exercising.  Nothing crazy – just 30 minutes of activity daily, but it's far better than what I've been doing.  My gym doesn't know what to make of it; frankly I think they miss getting paid monthly for absolutely no reason.  I know that's a gig I wouldn't mind having.

C-A-P-S Lost, lost, lost!

It's been…a week.  I was doing much better with the diet and exercise at the beginning of the week than I am now.  Yesterday was rough – I felt off before I even sat down to lunch with my cousin and I never recovered.  By the time I left the hockey game with Hol, I was miserable (and not just because of the game).

Since I didn't have time to hit the gym yesterday, I did walk from my office to Verizon Center.  That was probably the high point of the evening.   Unfortunately, the Caps just couldn't get it done.

With NASCAR back, it's been the perfect time for boring knitting, so the Hourglass is coming along, though I really only work on it over the weekends.

Thirteen inches of stockinette.  Ooh.  Aah.  You can tell where I changed from the first to second skein – it went from moderately pleasing stripy goodness to  weird, color-blocked stripes.  Unfortunately, I just don't think I can manage to frog out that much work.  Besides, I could pull it all out and then substitute another skein of yarn and potentially have the same outcome, so I'll just have to live with it.  Until I can't.

NASCAR Update

Okay, boys. Enough is enough. Yes, going out and leading the most laps is nice, but spinning out with a handful of laps to go and finishing a lap down in 24th? No, not going to cut it. We qualified 7th for Atlanta so hopefully we're get a decent finish out of this week.   I'm not comfortable with this whole "sucking" thing.

Thank You

Thank you all for your words of love, support and shared expletives.  I'm still coping (poorly) with the news am trying to follow the advice laid out for me.  I've made it to the gym the last several days and have been doing my best to follow the meal plan laid out by my dietitian.  I slipped up a bit on Saturday night – went to a party where I thought x was being served and it ended up being y – but I didn't go totally off the deep end and will try not to make the same mistakes again.

It's weird.  After decades of being overweight and having done time with Weight Watchers, it's much easier for my brain to think in terms of cutting out certain foods and modifying certain habits.  It's much more difficult for me to think in terms of proteins and carbs and sugars and fats.  I don't know why.  I should probably take greater care in writing things down and checking things off – I'm kind of winging it a little bit right now.  There seems to be a greater emphasis on spacing out certain types of food over the course of the day to make sure that my glucose levels stabilize, versus being able to move types of food around during the course of your day, as long as everything balances out at the end of the day.  This is REALLY hard for me because I just don't eat in the mornings.  Maybe once I start going to the gym before work (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!), I'll be more likely to want to eat before noon.

Bleak Saturday Sky

I feel like I spent the entire weekend testing my ability to resist alcohol.  I'm playing this little mind game with myself that I'm only giving it up for Lent, and the past 72 hours made me realize what a social drinker I am.  I still had a good time, for the most part, but the whole shy-to-the-bones thing is much more difficult for me to deal with without a drink in my hands.  Socially awkward much?

Much of yesterday was spent waiting for the "Northeast Mega-Storm" to hit D.C.  We had some flurries early but it didn't decide to get serious until late last night.

Still well below the forecast six to nine inches, it did manage to blanket things nicely this morning.  Of course, this was taken as I was beginning my schlep to the office.  I'm more than happy to mock DC's shutting down, but I wouldn't have minded a little quality time with the couch and the clicker.

Of course, the forecast for Friday is 62 degrees.