And I wonder why I’m single

This was yet another fab weekend of putting myself out there into situations where I can’t help but meet single young men. Let’s see, Friday night started with Jason’s going-away party, part 4. We went to Il Mee for Korean BBQ – mmmmm, meat. I thought it was pretty tasty but not everyone was impressed. I definitely ate more than I should have. The curse of the all-you-can-eat buffet.

After din-din, big sis, P and I went to see a late-night showing of Walk the Line. I’m not totally sure what my reaction is. I mean, I liked their performances I guess but maybe I didn’t like the direction? I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Saturday was just as lame, maybe moreso. A mani-pedi with Melyssa and knitting/movies at her place after. I finished my Hermione – YAY – and did a couple of rows on the Inishmore of doom swatch. Today was more knitting with different friends. I showed my friend Pam the basics of knitting and purling and we watched Must Love Dogs. I just love John Cusack.

Apparently Pete is en route to Afghanistan. He left Mississippi last night, spent some QT in Jersey today and should be over the Atlantic now. Although he and I are barely friends anymore, I’ll add him to the list of people serving in our armed forces that I now have to worry about – Lickie, Craig, Bastard and Turtle to name a few. I’m sure there are others serving that I’ve forgotten but I hope they’re looked after as well. I’m just sick of having to worry about it.

I’m watching Dr. No (shocking!) and they just paddled their canoe ashore right next to Dunn’s River Falls – hey, I’ve been there! And here comes the famous shot of Honey Ryder/Ursula Andress coming out of the sea. They haven’t shown the pier where our cruise ship docked yet.

I’ve more or less stopped complaining about my single status and more or less have determined that I’ll be single for eternity and have tried to figure out what I can have instead of cats that will still fulfill my spinster requirements. At the same time, I fully acknowledge that I don’t do anything to meet people. No personal ads (answering or placing), no letting friends set me up on blind dates, no bar trawling, no taking classes, joining groups or even going out to places were I won’t just hang out with the same people all the time.

Even though I fully acknowledge that it’s my own personality foibles that keep me locked in this pattern, I don’t know what to do about it. Everytime I try to go against my nature to be more outgoing and more personable and more flirtatious I just end up feeling like a fraud and even more uncomfortablein my own skin than I usually am. Who knows.


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