Everything old is new again

While driving back from NC a couple of weekends ago, I got a phone call from an unknown number with a 614 area code.  I looked at my friend Karen who was driving and said, “This can’t be good.”

It wasn’t.

Papa Knascar had been admitted to the ER and subsequently admitted to the ICU.  Phrases like “collapsed lung” and “coughing up blood” flitted in and out of my consciousness while my mind raced to figure out how quickly I could get home.  I was stuck in NC for another 24 hours before I could even think about getting back to VA, throwing together some clothes and heading to Columbus, but that’s exactly what happened.

I’ve been in the Buckeye State for a week now.  Papa K is doing much better now (conscious, eating solid food, out of the ICU, cranky) but terribly weak, and I’m here for the foreseeable future.  He has these illusions that I’ll be home by this weekend, while I’m not sure if he’s ever going home again.

For that matter, I’m not sure if I’m ever going home again, at least not permanently.  Intellectuallly, it makes sense for me to pack up my life and move back to Ohio until things have run their course, but I’m just not sure.  It’s a big step and one I’m not sure I’m mature enough to make.

I’ll tell you one thing though – I’m damn tired of this hospital.


3 thoughts on “Everything old is new again

  1. kat says:

    I hope Papa K continues to get better. As my parents age, I too ahve thought about moving back. Doing so seems all backwards to me but sometimes that is the right direction.

  2. Jenn says:

    Big hugs to you, I hope Papa K continues to recover. It’s very hard to watch our parents age.

  3. Jeanne B. says:

    My prayers to you and your Dad, for his recovery. The tough part about these situations is that emotions have you pulled every which way.

    When my Mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer a month after my Dad died, I immediately packed up my house–a mere half-hour away–to move in with her rather than see her stuffed into a nursing home (she was completely dependent on Dad, and my house wasn’t conducive to elder care). Looking back four years later, had I known how it would all go, I might not have made the same decision.

    I’m not saying don’t move back to Ohio… I’m just saying as hard as it is, try to look at it from the years and months ahead as best as you can, and see if this move would really fit your plans. If it does, then go for it. If it doesn’t, know that it’s OK to make other arrangements. {{{hugs}}} I’m telling you this, only because I really wish someone had told ME.

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